http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/program-aims-to-break-chain-of-recurring-domestic-violence/

^ Watch the video here. Listen as the anchor reflects on her visit to JBWS's Abuse Ceases Today. She discusses that abusers can be rehabilitated and that working with abusers at the right time is just as important as working with women.

Watch the CBS Evening News tonight at 6:30 p.m. as corespondent Elaine Quijano talks with men working to turn their lives around through the JBWS batterers' intervention program.

Breaking The Cycle of Abuse: Solutions for Deviant Children

Breaking The Cycle of Abuse: Solutions for Deviant Children

The link above is a fantastic video from ABC News on parenting skills. The video discusses how praising children on their positive behaviors and not constantly telling them what NOT to do, actually decreases stress hormones in children; this results in them showing less aggressive behavior. In the DV shelter where I intern, every mother in the shelter is required to attend a parenting skills class. These same skills are encouraged to ensure that children will not replicate the aggressive behavior they have seen at home. Young children, especially boys, need positive encouragement from a young age. The cycle is not guaranteed; the video discusses that a child's behavior can change once new parenting skills are practiced and implemented. Prevention of abuse needs to start in the home from early on in a young boys life.

This is an exceptional Ted Talks video by Jason Katz "An author, filmmaker, educator and social theorist, Katz has worked in gender violence prevention work with diverse groups of men and boys in sports culture and the military, and has pioneered work in critical media literacy.Katz is the creator and co-founder of the Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) program. This particular video is on why men are such a key figure in attempting to understand Intimate Partner Violence. He goes on to promote the use of speaking up within our friend environments and really getting at some of the main issues. At some point Jason Katz goes onto say that instead of treating people in a binary fashion of men and women we should really treat everyone as bystanders. 

The Infamous Snackman: The Type of Hero we Really Need

Have you all heard of "The Snack Man?"  In 2012 a man was riding a subway in New York City when a domestically violent physically fight broke out on the train between a man and woman.  "Snack Man" came to the rescue, not by confronting the man, or throwing around some equally violent fists, but with potato chips.  Yes, we said potato chips.  He calmly stood in the middle of the two people and continued snacking on his bag of potato chips.  He didn't say a word, he strategically moved to remain a physical barrier, but he effectively broke up the fight.  This "Stand Up Guy" is exactly what we're talking about.  Let's foster men coming together to address violence, in a non-violent way.  Check out the clip:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Erlw-ODVZxU

The Good Men Project

As we've already mentioned, domestic violence or intimate partner violence is often seen as a woman's issue, but this blog tends to disagree.  Where we need to focus a greater portion of our efforts is toward prevention or treatment work with men.  Let's get into elementary schools, high school sports teams, college fraternities, doctor's offices, pro-sports teams, etc.  Let's talk to our men about what it means to be a "good man", to stand up to male dominance, and to stand up to violence.  

The Good Men Project is certainly picking up what we're putting down, or maybe rather we're picking up what they're putting down!  In 2009 a Stand Up Guy named Tom Matlack created the Good Men Project in an effort to collect stories from men about what it means to be a man (not society's expectation of a macho man, but a sensitive, kind, good partner, good father type of man.)  Check out their website, follow their Twitter account, etc., but pay attention to what these folks are saying.  They get the importance of this work; it's not just addressing the problem, but changing the culture! 

http://goodmenproject.com/ 

Same Sex couples and Stress

It had been a previous myth for quite some time that Same-Sex couples were not drastically affected by Domestic Violence. However a recent study blew that completely out of the water. Published recently in the Journal of sex and Marital Therapy, links the added pressures and stress of normality with a heightened or equal intimate partner violence response. This is an extraordinary publication and may help solidify other areas of Same-Sex stressors for further studies.

What this may also do is suggest ways that interventions may be implemented into this population. Reducing the stressors in any relationship is key to helping intimate partner violence reach a new low over all.

http://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2014/09/domestic-violence-likely-more-frequent-for-same-sex-couples.html

How High School Coaches Can Help Stop Sexual Violence

http://www.vox.com/2014/9/23/6831641/domestic-violence-sexual-assault-nfl-violence-against-women

In an recent Vox article, Libby Nelson highlights the work of a high school basketball coach in Juneau, Alaska. Alaska has the highest rates of any state for violence against women so John Blasco took education and prevention into his own hands. He has weekly conversations with his team domestic violence, respect, aggression, how to treat women, and sexual violence. 

I think that while, all young boys and girls need to have these conversations, athletes is good place to start. It is important to discuss with teams who are encouraged to be aggressive, that this behavior is not appropriate off the field. Currently, with so much focus on the NFL, it is especially important to reach out to young boys who may be confused about the actions of those they look up to. 

Blasco's conversations are inspired through a program called Coaching Boys into Men that was started by Futures without violence. The program has proven to be successful in reaching out to young boys through their coaches; however, my concern lies with the fact that their conversations end when the season ends. Because violence against women is embedded in our society's culture, in order to combat that, I think we need to have programs such as this happening year round for teams and starting in middle school. 


Nelson, Libby. "How High School Coaches Can Help Stop Sexual Violence." Vox. 13 Sept. 2014. Web. 30 Sept. 2014. <http://www.vox.com/2014/9/23/6831641/domestic-violence-sexual-assault-nfl-violence-against-women>.

Why are we here?

The the arena of domestic violence (DV) work, we most often hear of our resources being allotted to DV survivors and their children.  Survivors are empowered to be independent, be in control of their safety, and provide their children with physically and emotionally safe situations.  Children receive counseling to process the violence they witnessed and the terrifying fact that someone you love could treat another person you love with such disrespect for safety.  This blog is NOT intended to negate the extremely important and vital work being done with survivors and children, but it is intended to challenge our thoughts around intervening in the cycle of violence. 

If you were asked to pick a charity to donate to, are were given the following two options, which would you choose?

1. Counseling services for *women  that have endured violence at the hands of their intimate partner. 
2. Services provided to *men who batter and abuse their intimate partners.  

If you are like more of our population, you likely chose number 1.  Helping victims/survivors of DV again, is very important.  With each person you help in this respect, you are helping them heal from a painful past, hopefully increasing their ability to recognize battering tactics, and reducing the amount of violent relationships she, and possibly her children, are part of in the future.  When we intervene with men, we have the ability to not only help someone heal from a likely painful past, but potentially ending their pattern of battering, which could impact every intimate partner they have hereon out, which prevents future women falling prey to DV. 

The life of this blog will aim to not only challenge our thinking toward perpetrator work, but also away from the currently heavy emphasis of "reaction" and toward a place of "prevention."  How can we implement this material in our schools?  How can we prevent our youth from not only being victim to violence in relationships, but perpetrating violence in relationships?  Join us as we uncover these questions...


*Throughout this blog you will hear us often refer to victims/survivors of domestic violence as women, and perpetrators of domestic violence as men.  While these are the typical statistics that we see, we are not ignorant or ignoring the real fact that women also are capable of using battering tactics against men, and DV can exist within the LGBTQ community.